Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The (Ridiculous) Things I Worry About

I've never done this parenting thing before so I have a few concerns that I'm doing it wrong. "It" being:

1) I'm putting the diaper on too tight and Eve's circulation will be cut off resulting in leg amputation.
2) I will somehow coddle her or dote on her too much or spoil her or somehow turn her into a self-centered narcissist.
3) I will accidentally damage her brain by accidentally pressing my thumb into that soft spot on her skull.
4) Due to excessive attempts at getting her to stand I will somehow ruin her ability to crawl.

Oh, and that whole teaching her how to smoke a bong might eff her up a little too.

Kidding, bongs are for hippies.


  1. You forgot about how a too-tight or too-bulky diaper can also "squeeze her guts" (technical term) if she slumps over from a sitting position. It's a very serious and real problem.

  2. ahhhh i don't want her guts to get squeezed.

    You know what else I don't want? A teething baby. Jeeeesus...why won't she just go back to being happy, sleepy Eve?