Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Holy Spit Up Baby

Eve gained roughly a pound and a half in her first two weeks on this planet. She was 6 pounds 4 ounces at birth (which is more than big enough if you ask my wife) and at her latest weigh-in was 7 pounds 10 ounces. These mundane details are no doubt boring for most folks but for me they're proof that babies have magical ways of absorbing calories.
Eve is a chugger. If you could do a keg-stand on a boob she would be all over it. If I (still) drank like she drank I'd be passed out and drunk until next year. Watching her consume so much milk you might think it gluttonous and you'd certainly wonder how the shit it all fits inside of her.

Here's the thing: she is and it doesn't.

For a while I wondered if she actually kept anything down. I've seen some unholy moments in her short life and one of the greatest was when she "spat up" what seemed like a litre of food from her mouth, nose, and it sure as shit would have come out of her tear ducts if they were fully functional (thank god they're not). Every meal is basically a spit-up, but here she is, a perfectly healthy, pot-bellied, glowing baby.
Bulimics would be really pissed off if this happened to them.

Whoa Belly!

1 comment:

  1. "If you could do a keg-stand on a boob she would be all over it." - AMAZING DESCRIPTION OF A NEWBORN BABY. Not that I have one of my own, but I've been around my sister's two kids enough to fully understand and chuckle out loud (COL!) when I read that.